Take a look at the original sentence again:
The grip of the pantyhose, the stranglehold of the scarf, and the bite of
the tight shoes made Rachel want the interview to
end, she longed for a cotton T-shirt and
jeans.
You wanted to fix it this way:
The grip of the pantyhose, the stranglehold of the scarf, and the bite of
the tight shoes made Rachel want the interview to
end she longed for a cotton T-shirt and
jeans.
To delete the comma between end and she would cause an equally bad problem, a fused sentence. A fused sentence occurs when you have two complete sentences joined with no punctuation whatsoever. The grip of the pantyhose, the stranglehold of the scarf, and the bite of the tight shoes made Rachel want the interview to end is the first sentence. She longed for a cotton T-shirt and jeans is the second sentence. The spot between end and she needs a stronger break than blank space.
You might want to consult the rules for fixing comma splices and fused sentences.
Go back to the sentence to try again.