Take a look at the original sentence again:
Neil's day revolves around sugar, he anticipates
the pastry he will choose for breakfast, the candy bar he will eat for lunch,
and the ice cream he will have as dinner.
You wanted to fix it this way:
Neil's day revolves around sugar he anticipates
the pastry he will choose for breakfast, the candy bar he will eat for lunch,
and the ice cream he will have as dinner.
To delete the comma between sugar and he would cause an equally bad problem, a fused sentence. A fused sentence occurs when you have two main clauses joined with no punctuation whatsoever. Neil's day revolves around sugar is the first main clause. He anticipates the pastry is the second main clause. The spot between sugar and he needs a stronger break than blank space.
You might want to consult the rules for fixing comma splices and fused sentences.
Go back to the sentence to try again.